A Bitter View

1. HAS YOUR MAMA & 'NEM TAUGHT YOU TO STEP YET?

2. IS THERE ANY EXPRESSWAY EXIT WHERE THERE IS NOT SOMEONE TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING?

3. NO MATTER WHAT......WONT E2/EPITOME ALWAYS BE CONSIDERED THE SAME OL CLIQUE?

4. WHICH HAROLD'S CHICKEN SHACK IS BETTER, 87TH ST. OR 47TH ST.?

5. DON'T'CHA JUST LOVE TO HATE WGCI?

6. ......AND SPEAKING OF 'GCI......ISNT FUNNY HOW THEY ALL OF A SUDDEN EMBRACED HIP-HOP RIGHT AROUND THE TIME POWER 92 CAME ALONG?

7. ......BUT ISNT POWER 92 REALLY JUST 106 JAMZ RECYCLED?

8. IS ANYONE REALLY GONNA BE CHECKING FOR THE BULLS THIS YEAR?

9. DIDN'T GANGBANGING PLAY OUT IN THE EARLY 90'S?

10. CAN A RAPPER FROM CHICAGO BLOW UP NATIONALLY WITHOUT HAVING TO MOVE AWAY?

11. WHO KIDNAPPED CHANTAY SAVAGE?

12. TRUTH BE TOLD…DON'T BOOLU & PHARRIS HOLD IT DOWN AS FAR AS CHI-TOWN DJ'S?

13. DOESN'T R.KELLY NEED SOME PRAYER ALONG WITH THAT HUG FROM HEAVEN?

I was on my way to work and I stopped at Burger king for breakfast even though it would make me 5-10 minutes late. On the radio I was listening to Doug Banks when they announced that a plane has crashed into the WTC. My first thoughts were “My god! That’s horrible!” and kept listening as I received my food. As I entered the Building parking lot it was announced then that another plane has flown into the WTC. Now my thoughts were What the Fuck!? What seemed, as an accident is now made evident that it was planned. I entered my workplace with Disbelief and talked with my boss about what has happened. I tried to go online to read about what’s going on but most news sites were shut down due to too many viewers. Either way I wasn’t going to get any more info about the situation until I headed home. As I left for lunch 4 hours later, I headed to the Cheesesteak stand in the local mall. For some reason the Worker there was extra nice to me, which he wasn’t usually. I just returned the favor as a sign of whatever and headed back to work. I got into a little spat with an online friend that day because she lost some friends and took it out on me. I let her say her piece and put the broad on ignore, I have my grandmother and mother blaming shit on me and I didn’t need another. After my workday was done I headed home and laid in my bed and watch the news till I fell asleep. I don’t even remember if I used the computer that day, the mood was surreal.

My boy and me were talking about the Marvel Max Comic “Cage” which is about the First black superhero to have his own comic book. The new Cage series is a big modern change from the 70’s depiction of the character. Luke cage has come along way especially in costume revamps. He started with a very gay yellow t-shirt and jeans, which I guess was in at the time (lol). Of course every Comic fan knows Luke’s Battle Cry (SWEEEEEET CHRISTMAS!!) Fighting dastardly villains like Cottonmouth, Big Brotha & Montenegro; Yeah Power Man was definitely fantasy Blaxploitation at its finest. Thankfully those days are done, and most of his enemies were thrown away to the trash where they should be. Now in the 2000’s the new Cage persona is something that I love & hate at the same time. Being on the Max (adult readers only) label gives writers & artists the go-ahead and do whatever they want And there’s nothing wrong with creative freedom. The current writers have made the book interesting and as a reader keeps me hooked to see what happens to Cage in the next issue. That’s where the love ends, because in a way Cage has changed for the worst. From a Jive talking 70’s brother into a hardcore thug that takes no shyt from anyone. My beef is since the writer & artist is both Caucasian, is this vision of black youth how they view us in real life? Is it a mold we need to break or keep going? Personally I feel it’s a brand new exploitation all over again using the same character, which is so sad. While I hate to rate and judge a series that hasn’t finished yet I do believe im going to stop supporting that particular book and stick with Black Panther & Blade. In the industry of fantasy 2 out of 3 Good characters of color aint bad, Hopefully they’ll be more down the road….

Here I sit, brokenhearted; broke as hell… you get the idea. The days and months have flown by with no positive view in site. The more I try to push the negative way from my face, reality lets me know how real my situation is right now. I know my lady friend Shauntel keeps telling me that I can be more positive about my situation but to recite Treach of naughty by nature “Positive isn’t where I live”. I realized that I was in a spot when my father told me how he felt about my unemployment. My father who has always been my first real source of positivity for the longest (despite his partial absence in my life) also told me that I’m being too picky in finding jobs. I totally disagree but the only job ive had since my layoff was Applebee’s and I quit that in 4 days (he says 2 hours, ugh). I didn’t know what I was getting into at the time and there definitely is an adjustment from working at an office that back to doing hard labor again; I realize that. Well days go by and the deeper my depression goes. I’m glad I’m able to leave the house when I feel too closed in. I’m also glad that I have the high tolerance to put up with my Grammy’s bitching. A tolerant man can take so much, I feel that if I let loose; I’ll end up in a bigger world of shit. Im not gonna lie and say I love where I am because I don’t. I just want a lucky break again to prove to everyone close to me and myself that I’m not the hard luck loser that im portrayed to be. I gotta find some way to release these bitter and dejected feelings within me.

My boy and me were talking comics (again, we do this often) and we got into The Miniseries “Just Imagine Stan Lee” Line Which I have to say was quite enjoyable. We got into the first book to be released in the mini series, which was Stan’s Version of Batman. For those that are lost, DC/Warner Bros hired Stan Lee. To create his version of heroes (Superman, Flash, Wonder woman) that he has made landmarks in Marvel (Spiderman, Hulk, Captain America). I wasn’t sure that he wanted t make the heroes culturally diverse as he tried but it was definitely refreshing nonetheless. Wonder woman was of Latin Decent, Robin Was Asian, and Superman was still an Alien from another planet. But the key to all his Characters were that they had believable problems that people could relate to. In His version of batman, He was a black man (WHOA!) In jail for a crime he didn’t commit. He becomes the Batman as a way of redemption for his life and Avenge for the bosses who put him in the system. My boy definitely hated that the brother had to go to jail because most Marvel Black heroes started out at petty thugs doing bids for shyt they didn’t do; Despite the Black Panther. I tried to be the medium and told him to respect the architect, but being the young upstart he is he just replied “fuk dat!” I can’t say I blame him though. It makes me want to get into the Business even more. And when I think about it, what are his relatable problems? Oh that right, He’s Black, that’s the problem. Go figure…

I mustered enough creative Mojo to make this new clean layout. I realize were heading into October so I felt I needed a Halloween mood like setting. Thumbing through my comic book scans I decided to use Warblade from the Wildcats as a brief prelude. In other words I got another layout brewing on the way soon. To my surprise, I was ecstatic that some peeps are downloading my mini mixes. That made me feel good to know somebody likes my stuff as well, it also inspires me to make more so I’ll keep em going. I figure down the line when I get the Dj lessons ive been searching for I’ll be more potent than I am now. Anyway while I’m staying unemployed im doing what I can to get back in the work force. I realize that my Unemployment will be up in December; knowing that gives me extra incentive to hustle and submit applications like crazy. You know its bad when you’ve submitted so many resumes & applications that when you receive your rejection letters you forgot you even submitted to them. I’m still doing my best to stay positive even though that’ll get you so far. I got into a little baby daddy drama with a broad that supposedly told me she was single, but when I called her he got on the phone and cussed me out. It’s funny because I haven’t heard from her since so I guess that was her Man for real. Aw well, nothing ventured is whut I say.

Do I ever have a day where I say to myself "it can't get any worse than this" - and it does? I've probably had times in my life when bad luck just seemed to pour down: a lost job, the death of loved ones, a crisis in a relationship, an accident, or some other calamity. Or maybe it was just a day when a lot of little things went wrong, starting with putting my foot in a half- empty coffee cup I left on the floor the night before.

On days like this, it's usually helpful to get out of the house, and take some quiet moments to reflect on the things in my life I do have, that many others don't. I can also reflect on how some of my most difficult experiences help me, with powerful lessons and new wisdom. When I count my blessings in this way, I'm often able to see things in a new light. Problems that seemed big in the past no longer hold the same fear. I know I'm going to keep learning and growing from them. In seeing what I have gained so far, I get a new perspective on life, one that helps me treasure each moment more.

Just for Today: When things in my life appear to be falling apart, I'll try to remember that even hurricanes don't last forever.

Today I'll take some quiet time, and find a special, peaceful place inside me that helps me gain new strength and calm to weather out tough storms. I'll take each new bit of wisdom I get, and let it help me get more love out of each moment with myself.

Just when you think you've finally hit bottom, someone tosses you a shovel. - Anonymous

My brother was telling me about a Business paper he had to write on a Successful Business man/Millionare. I quickly told him that since he was in a Community College most of the cats will take the easy way out. Russell Simmons, Sean "Puffy" Combs & Master P will get written about the most. He decided to do his paper on Ted Turner. Today he tells me that 8 people did a paper on Russell and 3 did Puffy. to my surprise he told me nobody did a paper on Master P, yet. The teacher made the 8 individual re-write their paper with new moguls; One now is doing Hugh Hefner...