A Bitter View

The past 3 days ive been doing both signing applications and faxing resumes. I don’t know where my next dollar is going to come from. My car need oil badly, im too ashamed to ask for help but I’ll have to very soon. My head is so heavy that keeping it up is now a problem. Doing a bit of walking from place to place hoping for a break that never comes. Every month I set new dates on which I hope to land a job by. This month I desperately want something by my brothers’ birthday, which is the 19th. Positivity is now an emotion that’s hard to maintain, a couple of friends here and there give me leads. My cousin now has a job and now claims to offer me back pay for the months he was off, I have a strong feeling I wont even see a dime of it. I totally feel like I’ve done something wrong to someone in the past to help me answer why I have such bad luck in many things right now. I need luck. No Fuck that. I need a miracle.

Today a restaurant was rebuilding and re-hiring so I headed there to sign an application. I took my brother to the barber and he told me that I got a call for a job in Wisconsin. Thankfully he wrote down a name and number to work with so I can go from there. An Americall near my moms place was hiring also. I checked their site and from what I saw they dealt with Help desk and Customer support. I called the company and they immediately asked me if I’ve ever done any Telemarketing before. I told them no but when I tried to ask if I could send in a resume or what type of job do they specialize in I got no answer. Then the lady on the other line asked me to read a paragraph over the phone. I grabbed the newspaper (job section) with uneasiness and started reading aloud to her. After I finished the paragraph she asked for more and not to read any job ads. After a couple of minutes we said our goodbyes and moved on.

I remember as a kid my moms taking me to the polling place to do her thing. When I asked her could I come see what she was doing she would tell me no, I’d wait patiently which sparked my curiosity further. The booths were somewhat mysterious in a way because I wondered what they did. I never put 2 together that they were true election polls, guess I was very naive. Fast forwarding to high school I received my first Voters slip and I remember my stepfather taking me to the nearby polling place the next week on election day and only gave me one sentence I’ll always remember “Now get in there and exercise your right to vote.” I can barely remember who I voted for but the feeling that I was finally where my parents were so long ago made me ecstatic. I feel eager every time I get to vote, and today was no exception. I’m glad I voted, and proud that im within a country that allows me to do so. Today I voted. Today I made myself be heard. Today i was counted.

The last 3 days I’ve been enjoying my time to myself since my Grammy is on vacation. My dad and me have made up for past time ordering fast food. Especially the ones she hates which is all of them. I’m also glad that the elections are over as well. If I hear another black jingle of political candidates I don’t know whut id do. It angers me that we need that bullshit to get my people to vote. Anyway, I FINALLY GOT A GIG YA’LL! NO BS, THIS TIME! I’m officially starting Tuesday morning as a part time dishwasher/busboy at Bakers Square. This gives me a big relief & now I know my bills will be straight, At least till I find a full time or a 2nd job. Thankfully things are looking up and I hope they continue to rise for me.

Work has been work, i'll get into it in a week or so. in the meantime my bills are piling up and i dont think the web space here will stay up much longer. Im on hiatus till i get my first check...