The past 3 days ive been doing both signing applications and faxing resumes. I don’t know where my next dollar is going to come from. My car need oil badly, im too ashamed to ask for help but I’ll have to very soon. My head is so heavy that keeping it up is now a problem. Doing a bit of walking from place to place hoping for a break that never comes. Every month I set new dates on which I hope to land a job by. This month I desperately want something by my brothers’ birthday, which is the 19th. Positivity is now an emotion that’s hard to maintain, a couple of friends here and there give me leads. My cousin now has a job and now claims to offer me back pay for the months he was off, I have a strong feeling I wont even see a dime of it. I totally feel like I’ve done something wrong to someone in the past to help me answer why I have such bad luck in many things right now. I need luck. No Fuck that. I need a miracle.