A Bitter View

Whuts up ya’ll,

A lot of peeps remember me from way back when I had a blog called RAPTUREPHOBIA. The name was inspired by my cousin’s rap group title track on their album and on how much of a hermit I am. Due to family problems and financial burdens the site went down and I lost the domain to cyber-squatters (those who buy domain names to make a profit on the web.) When I wasn’t able to get the domain back because they renewed the domain which goes to show I got a lot of hits from it and im proud of that I had to change the name. For months I couldn’t come up with anything that ticked my fancy, then one day it hit me all I needed to do was use the obvious and go from there. My yahoo nickname suited me just fine, I am a bitter man and I am opinionated when asked and that’s barely because my views are so strong. So I now return with the blog that I never really wanted to kill in the first place as A bitter view. Along with the return may peeps will see some changes in how I write or maybe not, fuck it. I’d say not much has changed though. I now live by myself finally moving out of my grandmothers. I’m now back in school getting my masters in media communication and still have plans to achieve in getting my A+ certification as well as possible certified webmaster certification too. I’m still single with my problems with women or their problems with me. Being the quiet person that I am I still feel that this blog helps me express myself when other times I feel so restrained in social settings.

Dropping off my brother, I decided to stop by the nearby bargain bookstore and see what they have. as I moved through the mass of books that’s where I saw it on the entertainment table. "How to be a DJ" the book I paid 18 bucks for. They were selling it for 6.99! im disgusted with myself... >:(

Dropping off my brother, I decided to stop by the nearby bargain bookstore and see what they have. as I moved through the mass of books that’s where I saw it on the entertainment table. "How to be a DJ" the book I paid 18 bucks for. They were selling it for 6.99! im disgusted with myself... >:(

11 years my Cashmere (I prefer Metallic Brown) Hyundai accent was within my possession.
I went through some bad and good times I must say.
My mother got it for me and I took over the payment for it despite not asking for it. I used it to go out on many dates and got dissed by every female in that thing. the majority called it a "pink thang" when the street lights shined on it.

My mother called me to let me know it was being taken away and since I have a new used car there’s no need for it to be around anymore, especially since its over 180,000 miles with no brakes, a broken left turn light and expired stickers that I got constant tickets for. Seeing it go made me realize I too little pictures of it when it was in my presence.

I told my mother that we should've sold it for parts. She told me that she was waiting on me to do it. This irked me because I didn't want to act on it till I got approval from her; but then again there was too much on my mind to remember to bring it up in her presence.

We, no, I could've made a nice $500 selling it for parts; plus I got offers from neighbors in the hood.

Aw well, R.I.P Buggy...

11 years my Cashmere (I prefer Metallic Brown) Hyundai accent was within my possession.
I went through some bad and good times I must say.
My mother got it for me and I took over the payment for it despite not asking for it. I used it to go out on many dates and got dissed by every female in that thing. the majority called it a "pink thang" when the street lights shined on it.

My mother called me to let me know it was being taken away and since I have a new used car there’s no need for it to be around anymore, especially since its over 180,000 miles with no brakes, a broken left turn light and expired stickers that I got constant tickets for. Seeing it go made me realize I too little pictures of it when it was in my presence.

I told my mother that we should've sold it for parts. She told me that she was waiting on me to do it. This irked me because I didn't want to act on it till I got approval from her; but then again there was too much on my mind to remember to bring it up in her presence.

We, no, I could've made a nice $500 selling it for parts; plus I got offers from neighbors in the hood.

Aw well, R.I.P Buggy...

Well things are looking good for me right now. I got a job interview. and im going to begin school for my masters in a month.

But there are catches ive noticed...

1. The interview is a hour away from me by car. that’s a terrible commute.

2. It doesn’t look like im going to receive financial aid for school.

I'm not gonna worry yet, im gonna stay a cool collected head about it and continue with my plans.

Well things are looking good for me right now. I got a job interview. and im going to begin school for my masters in a month.

But there are catches ive noticed...

1. The interview is a hour away from me by car. that’s a terrible commute.

2. It doesn’t look like im going to receive financial aid for school.

I'm not gonna worry yet, im gonna stay a cool collected head about it and continue with my plans.

I was trying to hook up my cuz with a web domain account so he and his entourage can get email with the domain he purchased. Just our luck he didn’t memorize the info to login to godaddy so we could switch the nameservers. So after I did the forgot password he gave me his access to his email where I checked to see if the information was sent. As I was there curiosity was peaking so I looked through one of his emails of his ladys' and saw she had a blog. I clicked the link and peeped it out. It's nice but it hit me, it wasn’t my business to view this. This was a personal thing between My cousin and his lady. The majority of the posts (that I read) were directed at him. I closed the browser window. I shouldn’t look at this without their permission...Sorry Cuz. :(

I was trying to hook up my cuz with a web domain account so he and his entourage can get email with the domain he purchased. Just our luck he didn’t memorize the info to login to godaddy so we could switch the nameservers. So after I did the forgot password he gave me his access to his email where I checked to see if the information was sent. As I was there curiosity was peaking so I looked through one of his emails of his ladys' and saw she had a blog. I clicked the link and peeped it out. It's nice but it hit me, it wasn’t my business to view this. This was a personal thing between My cousin and his lady. The majority of the posts (that I read) were directed at him. I closed the browser window. I shouldn’t look at this without their permission...Sorry Cuz. :(

I believe living in this ghetto/Hood is bringing out the worst in me. My personality of being a hermit is being justified living here. I hear gunshots at night now and then, and my neighbors kids bring about his cronies to shoot cilo and smoke bud on the front porch when the parent's away at work every day. I see myself now than before getting liquor. No 8-ball although its more tempting now being where i am. I feel im getting more ignorant towards other people, not watching what i say witht he result of being cussed out and being told how stupid i am. its now been a year since i moved here out of convenience, thanks to a interview i have monday afternoon i might have a chance to get out of it. Am I ready is the question i must ask myself if i am to get this gig. I'll figure it out.

I believe living in this ghetto/Hood is bringing out the worst in me. My personality of being a hermit is being justified living here. I hear gunshots at night now and then, and my neighbors kids bring about his cronies to shoot cilo and smoke bud on the front porch when the parent's away at work every day. I see myself now than before getting liquor. No 8-ball although its more tempting now being where i am. I feel im getting more ignorant towards other people, not watching what i say witht he result of being cussed out and being told how stupid i am. its now been a year since i moved here out of convenience, thanks to a interview i have monday afternoon i might have a chance to get out of it. Am I ready is the question i must ask myself if i am to get this gig. I'll figure it out.

It's one o'clock and I haven’t eaten since I got up at 9:00am. I decided to grab a green apple from the fridge. Lo' and behold the core was completely rotten. I usually would’ve thrown the whole thing away but fuggit a negro was hungry so I took a butter knife and cut around the core of the apple and ate the rest. My brother looked at me cutting and told me he would've thrown it away himself. Lazy azz.

It's one o'clock and I haven’t eaten since I got up at 9:00am. I decided to grab a green apple from the fridge. Lo' and behold the core was completely rotten. I usually would’ve thrown the whole thing away but fuggit a negro was hungry so I took a butter knife and cut around the core of the apple and ate the rest. My brother looked at me cutting and told me he would've thrown it away himself. Lazy azz.

I’m glad I stroked my curiosity and bought my Fm transmitter to play my mp3 player in my car. I couldn’t stand how it works. In the car the sound is very muffled similar to Am radio. I'll keep it in case I need it, it may come in handy at home. In the meantime I headed to the mall to pick up a new car CD adaptor (couldn’t wait Vee) for 5 bucks. As I took it to a check out the lady at the counter read off the total amount and then said to me "you can afford that" Now the first thing that popped in my head was Whut the fuck does that mean? Should I i'll out? Should I leave? or get upset? No. I just gave a fake 'heh' and smirk I could while giving her the evil eye. I instantly brushed it off and thought to myself old white people don’t realize the things they say.

Speaking of Mp3's, a brotha was so bored today that I made a tiny mix of the Coolie Riddim beat. I had to pat myself on the back because I feel I did a damn good job! :)

I’m glad I stroked my curiosity and bought my Fm transmitter to play my mp3 player in my car. I couldn’t stand how it works. In the car the sound is very muffled similar to Am radio. I'll keep it in case I need it, it may come in handy at home. In the meantime I headed to the mall to pick up a new car CD adaptor (couldn’t wait Vee) for 5 bucks. As I took it to a check out the lady at the counter read off the total amount and then said to me "you can afford that" Now the first thing that popped in my head was Whut the fuck does that mean? Should I i'll out? Should I leave? or get upset? No. I just gave a fake 'heh' and smirk I could while giving her the evil eye. I instantly brushed it off and thought to myself old white people don’t realize the things they say.

Speaking of Mp3's, a brotha was so bored today that I made a tiny mix of the Coolie Riddim beat. I had to pat myself on the back because I feel I did a damn good job! :)

I got a offer for a domain I purchased last year called daytonamotorsports.net I did a quick appraisal to see its worth so that i may sell it. so far its worth $600-900. WHOA!!!

I got a offer for a domain I purchased last year called daytonamotorsports.net I did a quick appraisal to see its worth so that i may sell it. so far its worth $600-900. WHOA!!!

The guy that offered to buy my domain for my asking price accepted the offer (yeah!!). In order to get the money, what he needs is an official appraisal with an e-certificate of authenticity not what I received from a free site (dammit!). A Official appraisal is gonna set me back $50 to 75 dollars a domain. I’m going to explain this within the book im writing about domain squatting but put the writing on hold to indirectly I guess to experience this particular phase of the industry. It's gonna take a little while before I can respond back to him once I get the money because I am unemployed right now. I wonder should I respond to him or wait till I can get one done...

The guy that offered to buy my domain for my asking price accepted the offer (yeah!!). In order to get the money, what he needs is an official appraisal with an e-certificate of authenticity not what I received from a free site (dammit!). A Official appraisal is gonna set me back $50 to 75 dollars a domain. I’m going to explain this within the book im writing about domain squatting but put the writing on hold to indirectly I guess to experience this particular phase of the industry. It's gonna take a little while before I can respond back to him once I get the money because I am unemployed right now. I wonder should I respond to him or wait till I can get one done...

The interview was good. He really set me aback telling me im one of the only candidates with work to show. I couldn’t believe that statement, but then again I was like that myself a long time ago. I know it was my hunger to excel that made me land the jobs that I had and my lack of detail that made me lose them as well. The industry has left me bruised and gun-shy, yet I continue to seek employment within the field.

Anyway I told the interviewer that my only concern was the distance from my place to theirs; no money was discussed. I left the office confident yet not at ease because in the back of my head im probably going to land the gig. Which then would lead me to ask What would I do then?

On a trip to Tower Records, In a magazine (I forgot which one) I overlooked a link to a new politcal party's site nick named L.O.I.V. that I wouldnt mind joining myself if they were closer.

The interview was good. He really set me aback telling me im one of the only candidates with work to show. I couldn’t believe that statement, but then again I was like that myself a long time ago. I know it was my hunger to excel that made me land the jobs that I had and my lack of detail that made me lose them as well. The industry has left me bruised and gun-shy, yet I continue to seek employment within the field.

Anyway I told the interviewer that my only concern was the distance from my place to theirs; no money was discussed. I left the office confident yet not at ease because in the back of my head im probably going to land the gig. Which then would lead me to ask What would I do then?

On a trip to Tower Records, In a magazine (I forgot which one) I overlooked a link to a new politcal party's site nick named L.O.I.V. that I wouldnt mind joining myself if they were closer.

I'm glad that Tuesday is over. It wasn’t a good one I have to say. Bill collectors are ringing my phone and I’m unemployed so unless they will let me work off what I owe, I cant pay them anything. I took an incentive to go to the DMV and get a copy of my driving record since the local division of Direct Tv’s hiring drivers/installers. I was glad my record was clean as a whistle, I was surprised because I was sure that my past tickets would show up, not that im complaining though :D the money I had left I gave to the landlord for rent. I ran an errand for my mother to pick up some tiles at the Home Depot. The tiles had to be individually scanned which took too damn long. :x then as I left a lady was leaving the store ending her day at work. I thought myself to say a little something to her to make her smile or even smirk. as she walked by and made eye contact I gave a smile and said "The day is over, yay!"

The bitch just rolled her ugly ass eyes and walked by me. Didn’t want to holler at her trick ass no way. Hope her man beats her till she die!! :evil:

Now let me compose myself and get back to the topic. :) After that fiasco was done, I headed to my mothers to give her the tiles and install a new 3 in one printer she bought. It turned out I spent over 4 hours getting it set up which irked me because I thought I could do it faster. once I was finished my moms wanted me to print some things out which I felt I didn’t have time for, plus I was getting annoyed with my moms correcting me on what to do with her documents being far behind when im 2 steps ahead. I left once I did what I could and got myself some gas which set me back a friggin 30 dollars. I wish gas was back to .99 a gallon again. I really miss filling up my tank on 10 dollars. :(

I'm glad that Tuesday is over. It wasn’t a good one I have to say. Bill collectors are ringing my phone and I’m unemployed so unless they will let me work off what I owe, I cant pay them anything. I took an incentive to go to the DMV and get a copy of my driving record since the local division of Direct Tv’s hiring drivers/installers. I was glad my record was clean as a whistle, I was surprised because I was sure that my past tickets would show up, not that im complaining though :D the money I had left I gave to the landlord for rent. I ran an errand for my mother to pick up some tiles at the Home Depot. The tiles had to be individually scanned which took too damn long. :x then as I left a lady was leaving the store ending her day at work. I thought myself to say a little something to her to make her smile or even smirk. as she walked by and made eye contact I gave a smile and said "The day is over, yay!"

The bitch just rolled her ugly ass eyes and walked by me. Didn’t want to holler at her trick ass no way. Hope her man beats her till she die!! :evil:

Now let me compose myself and get back to the topic. :) After that fiasco was done, I headed to my mothers to give her the tiles and install a new 3 in one printer she bought. It turned out I spent over 4 hours getting it set up which irked me because I thought I could do it faster. once I was finished my moms wanted me to print some things out which I felt I didn’t have time for, plus I was getting annoyed with my moms correcting me on what to do with her documents being far behind when im 2 steps ahead. I left once I did what I could and got myself some gas which set me back a friggin 30 dollars. I wish gas was back to .99 a gallon again. I really miss filling up my tank on 10 dollars. :(

So far all this summer i've had to deal with flies in my apartment and it really had me thinking where are they coming from. My only answer was from the back door that we keep open during the day to let some air in. Today as I was dumping out a bucket of water from a leak in the ceiling (another thing that gets on my nerves which is being taken care of soon.) and staring at the back screen door I caught 5 flies trying to escape after they crawled through the cracks to get in. Now that I see my assumptions were correct, I grabbed my can of raid and drowned the fuckers to their death. I then closed and locked the door. I guess i'll have to run my a/c more now.

I ran a Gemtriculator to see how evil my site is:

And i'm just getting started... :twisted:

So far all this summer i've had to deal with flies in my apartment and it really had me thinking where are they coming from. My only answer was from the back door that we keep open during the day to let some air in. Today as I was dumping out a bucket of water from a leak in the ceiling (another thing that gets on my nerves which is being taken care of soon.) and staring at the back screen door I caught 5 flies trying to escape after they crawled through the cracks to get in. Now that I see my assumptions were correct, I grabbed my can of raid and drowned the fuckers to their death. I then closed and locked the door. I guess i'll have to run my a/c more now.

I ran a Gemtriculator to see how evil my site is:

And i'm just getting started... :twisted:

My high school reunion was last year. I slept on that mess. I was always an outsider of my class I didn’t converse with many people and kept to myself. I used to regret that because as I got older backing is a very good thing similar to networking. I guess I was too much into my own world to get with others, I cant call it. I’m just glad its over. Even If I did want to go my only interest would be to see those who are still alive and who got 15 babies. I’m neither since I believe in the saying “Success is the best revenge”. I realize I have a lot of things going for me since I have no attachments whatsoever. On the mentality tip, I feel I haven’t matured one bit seeing others progressed in their lives/careers makes me feel that I have stayed stagnant all these years; Maybe a change is coming for me, I have no idea. My boy’s Reunion was a week ago, he told me he didn’t go but peeps he knew told him only 8 people showed up and even then they assembled into the school cliques they were in at back in the day. After hearing that BS, it definitely reinforced my view on going.

My high school reunion was last year. I slept on that mess. I was always an outsider of my class I didn’t converse with many people and kept to myself. I used to regret that because as I got older backing is a very good thing similar to networking. I guess I was too much into my own world to get with others, I cant call it. I’m just glad its over. Even If I did want to go my only interest would be to see those who are still alive and who got 15 babies. I’m neither since I believe in the saying “Success is the best revenge”. I realize I have a lot of things going for me since I have no attachments whatsoever. On the mentality tip, I feel I haven’t matured one bit seeing others progressed in their lives/careers makes me feel that I have stayed stagnant all these years; Maybe a change is coming for me, I have no idea. My boy’s Reunion was a week ago, he told me he didn’t go but peeps he knew told him only 8 people showed up and even then they assembled into the school cliques they were in at back in the day. After hearing that BS, it definitely reinforced my view on going.

If i had the cash my particular plan would be to hit the Transformers Convention this weekend. Maybe its for the best, there will definetly be other times i can go throughout my life. Hopefully when Wizard World shows up in 2 weeks can be ready for it, then again maybe not! I guess im hoping for a new gig sometime soon plus I always thought i'd work about now doing at least part time work. Situations like this makes me wonder what am I doing wrong that I cant swing back in to the workforce like I believe I should. Well im still hoping to land something to help me out with what I owe before I go back to school.

If i had the cash my particular plan would be to hit the Transformers Convention this weekend. Maybe its for the best, there will definetly be other times i can go throughout my life. Hopefully when Wizard World shows up in 2 weeks can be ready for it, then again maybe not! I guess im hoping for a new gig sometime soon plus I always thought i'd work about now doing at least part time work. Situations like this makes me wonder what am I doing wrong that I cant swing back in to the workforce like I believe I should. Well im still hoping to land something to help me out with what I owe before I go back to school.