A Bitter View

Since i'm a Asian Film fan I noticed the Film "Ju-On" has been "americanized" into "The Grudge" I peeped the synopsis of both flicks to see the differences & similarities.

The Remake The Grudge:

An American nurse living and working in Tokyo is exposed to a mysterious supernatural curse, one that locks a person in a powerful rage before claiming their life and spreading to another victim.

The original Ju-On:

It looks like a normal, everyday house, but the atmosphere about it is anything but. Something happened here once... no, even now there is a terror here, born of a spirit that possesses this place. The various supernatural experiences undergone by the different owners of the house, unaware of the horrible events that have taken place here, mingle across time, and the true form of the terrifying, invisible "Ju-On" that nests in this house becomes clear...

Which Seem's eerier? I'm gonna check out both like i did the Ring & Ringu (still my favorites!).

Broad wanna tell me to holla at her online and when i asked her where her town was. she claims she didnt say she was from there. BITCH, IT WAS ON YOUR PROFILE! Your Dumb braindamaged ass must have someone else using your account. Let me dust my shoulder off...

I came to work 30 minutes late. Why? because I didnt put gas in my car last night when I had the chance. I decided to push the limit hoping i'd get to work on time and get gas afterwards. Now i know better...

I'm getting my X-box "Pimped out" by a cat in the north suburbs. Palatine to be exact. There’s something about that place that sticks in my head, even though it was my first time going there. Probably the famed Browns' Chicken massacre happened a good 5 to 7 years ago. Ignorant and shook as it sounds, I have never set foot into a Browns since then.

Anyway, I gave the kat my box hoping it would be a 3-hour hook me up deal. It didn’t happen that way unfortunately. Since I bought a fresh & new Xbox, the newest version (1.6 on the serial made in '04) is very tough to crack and modify. To top it all off it seems like my chip may not be compatible with the new version at all. I wish I new a place to sell it. It became 7 hours before we both decided to call it quits and I headed home and put my trust in him to fix it up. If it's too screwed, he told me he'd do his best to restore it to its original state. Hell, im ready to buy a new refurbished one and start over. Besides, there’s one that caught my eye in a pawnshop for under $100. Its been 3 days now and he hasn’t called and im missing my investment. I’m glad I didn’t pay him yet.

Like ive said before, it’s funny how the kids I teach day to day think that since i'm a substitute, that i’m not supposed to remember their names; Especially when the new school year starts. Even though it's the same year, i've noticed the mindstate of students & teachers shift as is it’s a brand new year and every thing totally restarts anew. Along with new classrooms and new grade levels, I wondered was that how I thought when I was younger.

When I call them out they quickly ask "How'd you remember my name"? Of course they want to punk me out by saying "You just read the attendance sheet!" or "You heard someone else say my name!" yet that seldom happens. Some of the kids are so damn memorable from other classes it's definitely hard not to. Automatically that gives them an instant note to themselves that I'm not to be fucked with easily. I guess they don’t realize that there the same students I have had trouble with are easy to remember due to writing so many referrals on them in the past.

Hellz No,
it's not my B-day yet but I came across a link of companies that offer free stuff when your brithday arrives! SWEET!

I wanted an ipod but I knew I couldn’t afford it, not even on eBay. I wanted to graduate from my old Cd-mp3 player to something that could hold more music without the use of me switching and swapping frequently. The cd player definitely served me well and it’s still usable. And once I saved my cash a bit, I went on eBay and tried to get one again with no avail. So I did the next best thing and settle for another player because I was hungry enough for one as long as it did the job. My first official Player was a 10 GB Archos Jukebox (yeah, I know ya never heard of it.) It definitely did the job that I wanted and that was to have a player for all my music. I only loaded my most favorite files and still had space left over and for a few months it was a sweet deal, despite the fact the shuffle mode buffered certain songs over and over, and it used rechargeable AA batteries that needed to be recharged within 1-3 days after using and constant turning on and off. The last straw was when I accidentally dropped the player inside my book bag, after that the player was never the same. I now use it for only moveable storage because that the only real thing it’s good for now.

I invested again thanks to a sale and bought a more brand name player the RCA Lyra to be exact. I got a whopping 40 gigs and it already came with 10 gigs already filled with music from various genres. I intend on loading that bad boy up as well. I’m taking time getting used to working it but I should have it down in another month. This player is lighter than my archos so I’m going to do my best to see that my investment is not damaged. After this player goes to pot then I finally breakdown and get the ipod, and hopefully that won’t be till another couple of years.

I've been assigned to the same special Ed class for the next week. I got 3 papers that I need to complete at least 2 by next week. Work and school has definitely been keeping me busy which is why many peeps haven’t heard from me, and I have to say I wouldn’t have it any other way. Y'see in being busy like this it definitely keeps me focused on what needs to be done and to shove other minor things aside. It may seem like I neglect my family and "friends" but in doing so it helps me shift my thought to more positive things and not on the negative aspects of my life.

So far the class is ok there’s only 3 students in the class and all 3 have extreme personalities. Alex, who's the smartest of the kids, hates to think, so he tries to get the teachers to give him the answers. Joshua is a tubby little guy that likes to talk and walk about instead of doing his work. And Mike is the most laziest kid I ever seen! He spends most of his time sleeping in class not doing a thing, and he's an 8th grader! I wonder if he cares about graduating. Thanks to the head teacher for informing me of how to deal with the students that I can be better prepared in handling them individually.

The stories she has told, made me want to reconsider doing this gig. Since the grades vary from 6th to 8th she lets me know automatically that its all boys (because girls in Behavior disorder classes are harder to get through im told.) and their hormones are raging. Anyway a male teacher was needed for the time being for the kids to relate and take charge when things get too uncomfortable for the female teacher to discuss with the students. We'll see how this plays out.

Its funny how she knew I was young and asked my age. When I told her she let me know out of many young teachers I was the most mature and grounded she's ever seen so far. I took that as a compliment. Hell, I still feel I have more in common with the kids than I do with the fellow teachers. I can't call it. I'm still playing videogames, listening to rappers and doing silly shit like they do sometimes. A long time ago I stopped focusing on becoming old worrying about it constantly watching my hair fall out and just living. Am I busy right now? hellz yeah, but best believe me when I say that im having fun in my own little special way doing it.

It seems like the mind is always willing to take upon obstacles that my body cant. I am truly grateful that i've been teaching for the past 2 weeks in the same class (because the teacher I’m filling in for quit), setting myself on a schedule of 6-7 am wake up Monday -Saturday having to work and then go to school afterwards really have taken its toll on me. I still feel I have the drive to finish the semester though. Since I’ve been working and being a student full time each, the lethargy has settled in and you can see it within my eyes. On a good note, I finished one of my classes (HOORAY!!) for the semester and it looks like I’ll get my best grade out of the times I attended school yet. I do admit, the class had too much work for a one-credit class (3 papers for 4 class days). I’m glad that the drive within me continues to do my best and show my talents. My next obstacle consists of finishing 2 papers that are due consecutively in the same week and mid-term test to study for this week. I already have started team ups with fellow students to help me out on research in exchange on how papers need to be formatted (yes, their female and yeah, there taken!) I know now that my eyes were definitely too big for my mouth and when next semester starts, I will go part time to cut myself some slack; then again I may not, that’s just shows the determination within me. To keep myself focused I’ve lowered my times doing things I usually like to like spending time on my computer (can’t ya tell?) and playing with my favorite toy at the moment my modified X-box. My part time gig at the school on weekends also helps me focus on working in between helping fellow students. Although the lack of a “life” does make me wonder and giggle a bit about a particular skit in Kanye West’s album about the guy who studies his ass off and knows nothing about love. Hey, that suits me fine, I was never good with those subjects anyway! LOL

Why do my people have to add that extra "ed" when they describe their skin tones. I't has turned into one of my pet peeves. What i like to do when im teaching in a class is whenever I hear a child say She's "dark skinnedded" or etc. (ugh!) I tell them to write that on the board. Of course the children are too embarrased to do that so they cop out by saying "Everybody else says it" I reply by telling them to set an example for others. One child told me by saying it correctly it sounds like he's "talking white". Hell, I hate when people my age do that, I definetly do not add the extra ed whenever I describe my self. In doing that I can tell the intelligent from the ignorant. Especially on blind dates, using that description will definetly help tell if she's on the same level as myself. The results of using only one "ed" give me either a compliment of "your the first brotha that doesn't say 'Skinneded'" either that or I hear "Why you talkin white?" Maybe im being too Bill Cosby on the subject but fuck it! im taking a stand on it.

The good news is one of my classes is finished and it looks good that I’ll pass it easily (I’d Better, I was doing 2 papers for one damn credit!) but the bad side is that I think know I failed my first midterm test. I decided to take the advice of the fellow students and study the books only thinking that was all I would need. Once I entered the class and got my test, it was all on the muthafuggin notes! While everyone was writing their answers on 3 pages I could barely complete one page. I turned it into the Instructor and the first thing he said after glancing was “This is all you’re going to give?” I let him know what I did to prepare for the test and he let me know to keep coming to class and not get discouraged. I’m going to take his advice and continue, although I realize a getting the requirements of a “B” is very low now.

The class assignment this week that I sub for has been extended indefinitely, or at least till they let me know im not needed anymore. I can now say that the subbing business is paying off because I now have a steady job throughout the week. Now that I have 2 jobs I can get myself together with bills, my only downside is not having a weekend off anymore or even 2 days off. I never realized how taxing on your body & mind it can be working 7 days straight. There were things that I only did on the weekend because I had the time now I have to reschedule myself and my habitual format.

I headed to the 2nd annual Anime Reactor Convention for a couple of hours (unfortunatly, only for one day type of thing). I wish I had my camera because the cosplay (costumed players who dress like their favorite characters in anime) were excellent this year. These people cared about how they looked and in my book if ya gonna embarrass yaself then go at it the best you can! It astonished me the detail some of the people took into looking like their favorite characters. I, personally wouldn’t do it myself dressing up is something I grew out of doing (ironically, im still watching cartoons! LOL) but I definitely commend them for doing what I wouldn’t. The black population at the con (roughly under 20) was a surprise for me and some even participated in cosplay. I had to admit there was one cute sista who dressed like Tifa from Final Fantasy VII and she was adorable. I would try to mack but she looked pretty young, besides there was a cute tall light skinned (or was she mixed?) lady that caught my eye while I was there!

I decided to attend the grand opening/orientation ceremony for the convention and the executive director (a cool dude) was the host. He had a suede jacket I should’ve asked him where he got it. He let the audience know that the theme was about Ol’ School and 80’s to 90’s music would play in-between introducing the guests of honor. The first person who named all the songs got a free “3-day platinum” pass for next year. I feel I can’t be fucked with on the music history scene so I decided to keep track. I wish I had a pen because I had to name them all once I approached the director and gave off the names. Now I know how the contestants on games shows feel, once your put on the spot you mind decides to fuck with you. I missed only 2 and the crew pleaded with the director to give me one due to the audience screaming too loud while one was playing. The one I missed because they played it so short (Whitesnake – is this love) The director decided to grant me a free 3-day pass next year, no platinum though and since I was the ONLY one who wanted to participate. He asked me if I wanted to do it again tomorrow and because of work I couldn’t so I gave him my address and number. I hope he honors the deal because it would save me some cash!

As a matter of fact, im gonna put all those songs on my radio-blog in a few!

I’ve worked 10 days straight officially and im getting very tired Like i've said previously. I guess dealing with kids for 5 days then dealing with irate fellow students who need help on the weekends can tax a body's energy 4'sho! Well I asked for this and best believe I want to continue but shit happens...

For instance:

What I thought would be a long-term gig turned in only 2 weeks. I should've kept my mouth shut about it; maybe it would've lasted. The class that I was going to sub for an indefinite time did not happen. After receiving the call the first thing I thought to myself was "well goodbye to buying Christmas gifts..." I definitely see how no guarantees come into play in this situation. So far, I am working till Wednesday then my schedule is up in the air.

Moving along:

The convention is over and I have a problem with my conscience. You see I found a "card" not anything financial but a sort of "code key" to a hotel or storage facility while I was there. Someone dropped it and I kept it, since the convention is over the people may be long gone but I feel its only right to bring it back and give it to the lobbyists. In truth that’s what I would like to be done with what I need. Its an hour trip so I have to plan to go when im not too busy.

It's been a good 15 days since i had a total day off and i have enjoyed it. Hell i got to finally play some of my X-box games especially MK: Deception (Just beat it with my favorites Scorpion & Baraka) And I cleaned up (meaning I swept & Vacuumed) my place. The past few days were definetly a runaround playing with my emotions and money. I will delve a little more about whats goin on tomorrow. for now? sleep...

Sleep is good, but much better with someone (heh).

I finally confronted my instructor and let him know that I dropped out the class. It was something I didnt want to do but I had to because the work load was too much to handle working and attending school full-time. Im going to keep the books because I will have to take the class again (its required) sooner or later.

I feel hella blessed today to recieve another day off within the same week especially on a friday. Although I tried to sleep as long as i could today to make up for the time lost; my eyes still feel heavy. At times like this i wish i had a drink before i go to bed because its the best sedative that helps me sleep i've ever taken to date. My brother asks me lately am i feeling alright because i seem out of it lately. I realize im getting irritable (than usual) and i'm quick to push bullshit aside to get what I need done. Well, my freetime is over and its back to my grind. Who knows, maybe i'll have monday off as well!

I'm glad im not the only one when I say: XP-SP2 Sucks! After giving it a week I uninstalled it. It wasnt truly needed anyway. I already have a pop-up blocker and virus scanner the rest is gravy to me.

Today is Halloween. I didn’t buy any candy because I wouldn’t be home till after about 10pm. A part of me feels bad about that but at the same time I know this was out of my hands. I remember as a shawty the disappointment I would receive when going trick or treating and the people at the door would either tell us they had no candy or that they don’t celebrate it. My usual impulsive reply was “trick or eat!” which didn’t mean jack but it made me feel better against the stingy people. Those days are done, I’m grown now (at least I think I am) and one of my lifetime goals are to be the most dependable person you’d ever meet. I use the Ja Rule song title but reverse it to let people know where I stand. “I’m always there when your call, but not always on time.” I use this motto where ever I go and whomever I meet because one of these days I want to meet the person that returns the favor to me. I haven’t met them yet though.