A Bitter View

I’m booked to work till Next Tuesday. Today I subbed for 8th graders and I’m slowly getting the nickname of the "Cool Sub" even though kids wont let the garbage incident die down.

I finally got the word out that im switching servers since I need a company with a phone number instead of a dumb trouble ticket site, so peeps might notice a slight change.

I got beef with my state over some bullshit that I hope to correct soon.

R. Kelly stated his case on the war of both worlds. "The 'Light man' did it!"

My new serial cord came in for my Digital camera. The IgnantCam will be in effect very soon.

I voted today... And I still have a bad feeling about this.

That’s about it.

Thanks to this book. And the Art of War, I learned a lot about how to handle the kids more and how to separate them by their personalities. I know that as a sub the general personalities are magnified so I had to get more extreme.

For instance, there is a clique that continually likes to make fun of me because of a green outfit that I rocked the first time I taught in their class; so now my new nickname is "Kermit the frog" along with "Garbage-can man" The clique is tight and together they believe they have power over the teacher because of their numbers. So what can I do? My method of dividing and takeover. What I do is whenever I get an individual student in that particular clique I call them out by name. This establishes the knowledge that I know them and their cronies individually. So far I have knocked down the posse to all I have left is their leader, who I haven’t taught in his class yet. Now they know I know them all individually and now they’re thinking to themselves "Why hasn't he written me up yet?"

At sams club buying my Fruit20, A worker there saw i had my "I Voted" sticker on and forgot to remove it. He called out "Yeah I did too, Too bad shit didnt help"

As much respect as I have for both candidates in my states' run for senate which Obama won; it seems Mr. Keyes has made a childish move in not at least congradulating the winner claming "It's not appropriate and would have been a false gesture". WTF?

The media loves to put emphasis on something that can be manipulated. All the news on the lack of flu shot distribution is causing people to panic, pump the brakes. I, for instance haven’t had a flu shot in 4 years and knock on wood; I haven’t had the flu since High School. I’m not gonna let the news tell me when and where to get a shot if I don’t need one. My argument is this: why get injected with something that you don’t have in your system from the beginning? My theory came to truth on my last job where they were giving flu shots on the spot. Most of the employers signed up and got theirs and I did not. What came to my attention was that slowly one by one those who got the shots got sick except me. If I end up dying with pneumonia, it’s because my body wasn’t strong enough to fight it off and not because of the shots.

If I thought I had problems with regular kids as a sub the special Ed is no joke. I couldn’t believe I played referee most of the day keeping the kids from fighting each other and the constant cussing out the fellow students and threatening the teachers. At one point while I was holding one student from doing something he shouldn’t he threatened me as well. What did I do? I briefly let him go. I wasn’t scared of him but of myself mostly, because I personally know if he tried to steal on me; I would've laid his lil punk bitch ass out. Then his trifling ass momma would try to sue me and the school because he cant control her own damn kids cuz she's too busy opening her legs and worrying about what her ex-convict baby's daddy doing fucking her best friends.

Anyway, ahem...

After the day was over I felt so drained that I could barely get up. All I could do was rest as best as I could for 20 minutes before I got my shit and headed home. What a day.

Akademics ad: Read Books, Get Brain

For all the ignorant fuckas out there combat illiteracy pick up a book and ya just might get ya knob or slit slobbed on! LMAO

After seeing Extra last night after SNL, I was curious to find the pics of Tara Reid's nipple shot. I found it, now I wish i didnt see it. Why?
I'm a fan of ladies with big nipples and she had them but not in a good way. You can tell she had a fucked up boob job because her nipple was mutant sized with scars around the edges! Yuck! I wouldnt touch them with anybody's mouth. I would give the link away but trust me, your not missing a thing.

These kids killz me...

One of my special ed students was doing his Social Studies worksheets and when asked how would the U.S. be affected if every individual state were to become their own countries. This child wrote the following for his answer (In his own words):

"I would cause war everyday and we would win, my state would be called the Spongebob Raw. I would be takeing over all the world. there would be no taxes. My would would be all yellow too."

Now despite subliminal need for attention, I have to say I hate that fuggin show. I love animated films but i've personally never felt this one. I tried to watch, but I feel unless your a kid or that your 'blowed' (high) I can't get a laugh from it. You can tell i'm dreading the movie release.

But this child in particular feel the show is RAW! (pronounced 'Rau' and say it fast.) Aw well, As long as he completed the work; i'll let the real teacher sort it all out.

I dont know how I ended up there (heh) but next thing ya know im in a porno house lookin at videos, Mags and the toys (ugh!). On my way out after spending a good 20 minutes there a dude was talkin to the counterman claiming that "coochie is overrated". I minded my own busness in that place since theres a code of unspoken ethics in a porno house that no man knows but subliminally obeys but something inside wanted to scream out "Then why are you here?" LOL

Man, dudes, dont realize what they be sayin joe.

In my evolution to manhood I consider the first piece of jewelry I ever got for myself to wear because I wanted it is my steel Green Lantern Dog tag chain. As a kid I neva felt wearing jewelry. There was something about necklaces, watches and rings on me that I had to take them off immediately after wearing them; but I realize I need to grow some more and look mature even though I don’t feel it. I got to admit I like how it feels around me.

Playing defjam today after many ass whuppings I’m getting used to the fighting engine. I lucked out on getting my selection of females Cindy J, Lil Kim (hell naw!) Kimora Lee Simmons (why?) and Shawna. Well I had to rep for my City and choose Shawna but I got used like toilet paper trying to pull her and ended up with a chicken head (below average face but bangin body!) Today I ended up with Carmen Electra Navarro (why?) I guess it is a better upgrade. Heh…

Last night I was angry at my mother (as usual) so after eating at her house and taking my bro/roommate home I decided to vent a little by doing something I haven’t done in months: Take a drive around my town. The ride lasted a good hour and I took myself further into the lower southwest side (Alsip, Palos Hills, etc.) and I discovered new places I never seen or at least never took notice of while driving. I discovered a new school new grocery store, a new club and some houses and apartment complexes that were just fire! It makes me want to do my own version of "Wild Chicago"! I came back home inspired, less angry but tired and my gas tank near empty and an urge to take a drive again real soon.

^^ Now this is a candidate i could back!

My boy & I was chillin last night checkin out the video clips of Jay-Z & Linkin Park together in concert I downloaded onto my x-box. The combination of the Black album vs. Meteroa was Raw! He brought up that he's a hardcore LP fan and played some of Park's songs in his cousin's presence. While one of them didnt care because they only supported R&B especially by black artists (aw well); The other claimed "Linkin Park Stole Rap!" In that case, who owned it last? & why were they so careless to let it get in the hands of another genre of artist. Even though the kid speaks from innocent ignorance (I believe there's such a thing but only when your young.) We both said we'd cop the combination album and he'd play it for his cousins and ask him how are they stealing it with Jigga with them?

R.I.P. Ason BROOOOOOOKLYN ZOOOO!!

This is a little something im gonna try to do when i run out of shit to write about for the day! Feel free to add any questions you want me to answer. :D

Do you watch any shows on Primetime television?

Yeah i sure do.

If so what are they and when are they on?

Well im a animation nut so the toons I watch prime time (in no particular order) are:

Teen Titans, Justice League, Megas XLR, Dragonball GT, YuYu Hakusho, Mad TV & Saturday Night Live (Saturday nights) Malcom in the middle & Simpsons (Sunday nights), Kids next door (friday nights), South Park & Drawn together (both on wednsday nights)

Let's say you are dating someone or getting to know someone and then
you get into a discussion about who you are going to vote for. You
both have totally different views. Would you continue to talk/date
that person or is politics too important in your life?

Politics doesnt rule my world when it comes to relationships. In fact i appreciate when someone has a different opinion than me and is able to express their points strongly on why they vote for their particular candidate.

Dre & G-unit got jumped at the Vibe awards by some unknown dudes but the finger points at suge.

Kanye whining & crying like a bitch cuz he didn't win any grammys at the AMA's

WTF MAN!

The culprit of the stabbing at the vibe awards was none other than Youngbuck of G-unit. Aw well, GGGGGG-Gettin "locked up"!

Man, that aint gangsta. Thats some childish H.S. bullshit.

& oh yeah while we on some southern rapper shit, Can someone tell me what the hell "Knuck if you buck" means?

Why do men/women treat a person of the opposite sex like a
queen/king when it isn't returned?

Because they feel they dont deserve it/Self esteem. Either that or their idiots.

Why do people stay in those relationships when there is someone out
there that treats them the way they should be?

read the above answer.

How do you handle it when someone you dated, comes back and wants to
whine about their relatinship when you would have given them the
world, but they didn't see that because they were too busy looking
for something better?

I wouldnt want to hear it. Ya didnt want me then so dont treat me as your comforter now unless ya giving it up. Otherwise stay out of my face if your done with me.

While doing my monthly squatting (expired domain name buying) I decided to test some of the popularity of the domains before I bought them. After finding that there are lousy investments I decided to give the domains I already own a try. Most of them are on a mediocre level. Then I decided to give my old domains a try, using my old blog domains it surprised me how may peeps linked me in the past back when this was just “Sinsears Blogg” in 00-01. The numbers jumped when I changed the title to Rapturephobia. Wow. What surprised me more was the many people that linked me and I had no clue they existed. The wonders of this thing that I do in the blog community. Sometimes I want to let them know im still here just under a new name but thin I just say naw. If they rediscover me then it’s all good. I finally made a post about this domain’s origin that I intend to add to my bio soon enough.

Oh yeah,while im going down memory lane the following ladies that showed me love in the past & made a brotha feel like i was one of the only black men bloggin (probably was); i got a question 4 the following: Empress, Riotous, Eboni, Nona, Serenity, Tashia, Courtney & Karimarie.. Were'd ya'll fuggin go?

What was the FIRST DVD you purchased?

The first one I ever bought was an interactive DVD movie called "I'm Your Man" I still have it around collecting dust somewhere.

What was the LAST one you purchased?

Thanks to a nearby Asian Cinema shop called Another Heaven I copped 3 movies at once. Zatoichi, Battle Royale II (not as good as the first), & House of the Flying Daggers & bootlegs of the first 5 episodes of The Mighty Orbots & Galaxy rangers at a comic convention.

What will be the NEXT DVD you purchase?

Not sure yet. My mind is set on Criterion Collection version of "Traffic" so I can do a paper review on movies with social change & commentary for, and a dope ass asian Sci-fi flick called "2002" but whatever I see that may tickle my fancy I just may buy.

I never considered myself a writer. I'm just a negra with the ability to go into depth about what I notice from day to day. I have a 15 page paper to write for my masters due in 2 weeks and I feel that when i'm given a topic I cant come through and give you what you want. I'm gonna have to gather up some sort of bravado and just do it. lawd help me...

So when the media inadvertently implies that the NBA is too thugged out for them I turn away and pay it no mind since it doesn’t interest me, especially since I barely watch sports nowadays. The fight that happened did make me want to watch and see what the fuck went on. I wanted to see what made Artest snap like that. I didn’t see the Ben Wallace incident I could get that footage (but it will soon) but I can’t say that the throwing of the beer wasn’t in need of a chin check or even a bitch slap. Frankly I couldn’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing in his shoes, yet what people claim that self control has to be taken needs to cut the shit because evidently they have not had their manhood & dignity tested. Black folks go through that every day, in certain neighborhoods, most of time from our own just to see how rough & rowdy the other can be. It's all game. What comes to mind is when Ice-T was on Chris rock show talking about how brothas come from the hood/ghetto and once they receive the fame and money they try all their life to reach; the hood doesn’t totally leave them. A brotha will try his best to set a positive example but don't test him because he will knock the shit outta you. His penalty was a suspension of the whole season with no pay. personally I think this was absurd but then to show zero tolerance the need to make an example of the main perp was neccesary. I also considered that since brothas dont think when it comes to situations like this we're action personified (trust me, im using my best restraint not to say niggas instead) We dont consider how much we have to lose which was proven in artest's case. What ever he has now, hes about to lose due to the fan suing him while laughing his ass off telling all his co-workers the next day "I got decked by Ron artest! I'm gonna get PAID!" all im saying is as black men we need to know when to fight what we can win on all levels. We gotta THINK! Do I feel embarrased & ashamed? Not really. He's gotta helluva battle ahead of him though.

What is your favorite commerical "jingle"?

Cant say that i have one.

What is your favorite television commerical?

I cant say i have a favorite one but i can say 2 that are the most memorable for me: The Got Milk Commercials (especially the Aaron Burr one!) and the Twix 2 for me none 4 you ones.

Today at my computer lab in the morning the custodians come in to tidy up the floors. Usually there is about 2-3 of them that come in and spread out in each room. This particular day there was only one.

Now everyone is sick of their job one day to the next. But when you complain loudly that everyone can hear you about busting your ass making it uncomfortable for everyone else? It's time to quit. This broad was carrying on a cell phone that I knew was NOT on! She was venting for the hell of it. Maybe it was animosity against the students, I have no idea but she carried on so much that the people of other races (Arabic, Asian and of course white) left the room possibly in fear. Those that stayed (mostly black) stared at her (me as well) with the intent on telling her to shut the fuck up! Eventually she did but still bitching aloud in front of stranger is some shit I’d never do. She'd caught a bad one with the wrong person and end up fired for that. I guess I was used to old bitter black women complaining (yes she was, sigh) she didn’t bother me but the tension of the others I felt and eventually if she continued I would have to tell her to cool out. But thanks to my moms about supporting the blacks in the workforce, half of me would've felt wrong for confronting her. I was torn.

Happy Turkey-day ya'll

If your lover/spouse wanted to watch porn with you, would you?

I sure would.

Does it turn YOU on?

Watching porn or if my other was watching it with me? i'd have to say yes 2 both! :D

On tv right now there is some show on where a black woman is talking
to a black man and she makes a generalized statement..

Any man given the right sitution would cheat if the opportunity
presented itself.

Do you think that this is true?

She's been cheated on before, hasnt she? No, its not true because there are devoted men out there.

What about women? Do you think they would?

Women can have sex anytime they want so on that question i believe they could but since their more emotional driven that nullifies my answer all together...

What would be the one thing that would make you cheat in a
relationship?

I have to actually be in one first to find out.

Do you feel that you judge or get judged by the first time you are
with someone sexually meaning if it isn't great the first time,
someone is blaming the other or thinking they are bad in bed?

Damn, Good question. I think so unless one of you are a virgin and even then they go by what they've heard of seen. I'd say if your a guy (like myself) dont talk shit when you about to get some because your definetly gonna have to show and prove. If you cum (ahem) short of your words then that makes you look salty.