A Bitter View

Chillin at home watching G.I. JOE season 1 pt. 1 DVD that my brother bought for me for my birthday I love the nostalgia yet now that im an adult I realize how the shit was so cheesy at times. Here are some examples of the Joes that as a kid you watched in awe yet as an adult your quick to holler bullshit. I’ve listed them in no particular order.

• Cobra commander was a fucking idiot. Most of cobras’ defeats were his fault. Destro was his brains from the get go.


• With the exception of the Baroness the females could only impersonate women.


• Zartan’s “sunlight weakness” would only work in certain situations.


• Storm Shadow was a bad muhfugga to only use his hands to total a tank. Yet only Quick Kick (who only knows karate) and Spirit (who was an 80% stereotype) could beat him.


• Shipwrecks’ bird was a very intelligent parrot. He could actually engage in regular conversation with the Joes.


• Nobody died (till the movie and even then was nullified) yet millions of dollars in property was fugged. When a plan or tank was shot down the pilots Miracously ejected to safety.


• Every one had sorry ass aim!


• When ever the Joes hijacked a cobra vehicle they never worked (lousy cobra junk!)


• Every Joe was super athletic I’m talking Captain America style. Doing somersaults off cliff edges to grab on Cobra Fangs.


• If Snake Eyes was mute how did he command his pet wolf?


• If one of the Crimson Twins died Would the other die too?

The last two statements were just shit that came to mind. Feel Free to Join in on whatever I missed. I Didn't even start on the personalities.