Depression’s a bastard.
The school district is calling me now asking if im gonna come back for the new year. I don’t want to at all, but I need the money. And going to school is not helping me. I get so tired of them bastard running me ragged and the only way I have to work off my frustrations and headaches is rest. But because of school I get none. I found myself struggling to stay awake. When days got really bad I said fuck them and turned down their calls even though I needed the money badly. I feel if I have to go back then shit is gonna change. I'm changing grades definitely. No more 6-8. Damn, why am I even saying this at all? I got plenty of papers I never read on my kitchen floor I haven’t really looked at the job ads in months. When I do its bullshit because most of the ads are done by fucking temp agencies. I feel like a fuckitall mood lately, like im not built for this world.
Katisha asking me if I’ve called back on the jobs that ive applied to and I told her no. I don’t have to call them back when all I get is a thank you letter. I'm frustrated man. I'm starting to understand why dude go to crime. I feel like I wanna cop my fathers' revolver and play stickup for a while to keep my rent paid. I've been so depressed that the numbers of females I have been getting I haven’t called once. What the fuck am I gonna tell them. I wanna go out with ya but im broke. Broads hear that all the time or something similar and I need to come correct. I don’t see that time coming soon. I just watched Hustle & flow and I gotta say I was never a pimp or dealer but I could relate to DJay's struggle. When he ran game to Skinny black and found out he pissed on his demo, that shit was real to me because it put me in a zone of how these companies do your resume. You wanna tell them check me out, give me a chance and in their drunken stupor they murmur "suck my dick, bitch" then the ass beatings commence.
With all the venting aside, I hope I land something soon. In the meantime im drowning my sorrows with Sparks.
Comments (1)
Hey man, this is gonna sound like a joke but it's not. Go to the bookstore and get a book called "the Big Sister's Guide to Work" or something like that, it will be in the careers section, and read the two to three chapters they have on finding jobs, it's not the same ish you read elsewhere and it's a lot more helpful than want ads. You have a fantastic marketing tool - yourself - and at 6-9 if you are polite no one will EVER forget you. But in order for that to happen they have to see you first. Change the world after you get in the door.
Posted by ManNMotion | August 24, 2005 11:15 PM
Posted on August 24, 2005 23:15