A Bitter View

Lord knows I didn’t want to do it but I needed cash like now. I went to a Pawn Shop to sell my PS2. I was hoping to get at least 40 bucks for it. I know how places like these do. Sell it to ya at the lowest possible way then resell triple the amount they gave you. Places like Fuckyouland (funco) and Gamestop do the same ish. Anyway after presenting the system he hooks it up to a nearby TV and gets a game and starts to play, for 10 fucking minutes! Eventually I got frustrated and asked him "Do you gotta beat the game to prove it works?" He then punched it up on his monitor and gave me worth. 30 dollars. Ten bucks less of what I was hoping for. I reluctantly took it and used half of it for gas.

A message to those on the road wasting all your precious gas because your lazy ass wouldn’t leave early enough to get to where you need to go on time.

I’m your worst nightmare.

I’m serious you’ll want to kill me. Why do I say that? Say your in a hurry and your gonna be late? You pull up behind me trying to get into the other lane to speed ahead and are blocked. What do you do you honk at me? Flash your high beams if its night? That’s where you fucked up. Y’see I’m struggling right now (ev’ry dae I’m strug-gl-in, ev’ry dae Ah’m Strug-gul-lin on some Rick Ross shit) I don’t know where my next buck is gonna come from and while I make moves I’m gonna make sure this 1/4th of gas is stretched out as long as possible. I will slow down to aggravate your ass so you can whip it real hard, whip it whip it real hard to the next lane and get out of my face. Piss me off well enough and I will switch lanes with you as well. Oh, and if ya want to cuss me out and flip me off we can do that too. I’m going to invest into some road rage cards just to elevate the immediate beef. I could give a fuck if I’m in the fastlane. Most of the time im driving on E with Fumes goin 15mph and I’m saving what I got and it aint alot.

I warned a couple of people that this year, this quarter was gonna be Movie remake city.
What is it with hollywood that they've run out of ideas to work with and decided to only focus on revamping old ones. People should come out and say enough, yet the films come off as an all new flick. I aint buying it. At the same time i cant deny that some of the movies need to be redone. I welcome it but the bombarment of remakes is getting silly.

Anyone looking forward to the Omen remake? My views on it is neither here or there. I know by todays standards it will be more violent. Otherwise it'll be the same flick. Running Scared was the dopest flick i've seen so far. It was RAW!
I wont see king kong because i'm not feeling watching 3 hours of a 50 ft. gorilla trying to bone a 5 ft. white woman. It seems like the end of this trend is near and there letting more original stories come along. i.e. Snakes on a Plane LMAO!

Dudes considering this day worse than Friday the 13th. Man, its just. A. Day. When you start believing in hokey mess it'll start happening. the only time I got shook today was noticing all the cops around looking for drivers to fill their quota for tickets. I'm riding hella dirty (no drugs or alchohol though) so i'm praying i dont get caught till i can afford my stickers and unpaid tickets. On top of that, My ride's check engine light came on, I need to come up with funds to handle that as well.

Answer yes or no to the following symptoms.

* Do you tend to complain about what your people are doing yet you sit on your ass and do the same?

* Do you feel that your superior to other of your race because you say and do all these things?

If you've said yes to any and all of these then you may have Uncle Ruckus Syndrome. The full blown disease causes you to do all of this constantly and repetively. You can screen for the disease by talking to the person about the way they act. If they end the conversation abruptly, yet not offended then odds are they're infected. Right now there is no cure other than humility treatment. This treatment is verbal can be given anywhere. The person needs to know that he/she is no better than anyone else and without initiative their life will never improve. Remember: procrastination and possible self-loathing is the key symptoms to this disease.

Having your utilities briefly shut off can really inspire you. HellI feel its when most black folk get creative.
I decided after 2 years to make a new Mini mix (30 min, 28 megs) of the Hip Hop i'm feeling right now. Peep if you like!

Sinro's MiniMix June 2006

Since the waters that were tested are cold and shallow. Im ending Myspacerip.com I did'nt consider that you have to be a friend of a imposter to comment. I plan to sell it dirt cheap, any takers?

I've gotten a new idea that i'm gonna put into effect. Just gotta secure the domain name, until then its under wraps.

I'm also gonna try and resubmit my resume with my name abbreviated along with a change in address (using my fathers) to see if i'm able to get more call backs for an interview. Two of my friends in different places (not the same state) have told me they wonder why a skillfull and well spoken man as myself that i'm unemployed. Hell, i'd like to know too. We shall seeif this makes a difference. Of course my negative moms asked "if you think there not hiring you out of predjudice & profiling, whats gonna happen when they do call and see your black." we'll just have to see if I get any calls first and then go from there.

I saw it on other blogs. I like it lets do this shit!

Accent: I talk white with chi-town slang Joe!

Booze: Mostly Sparks, or Carribbean pinnapple rum.

Chore I Hate: Dishes

Dogs/Cats: Dogs

Essential Electronics: Mp3 Player, Xbox, PSP, microwave

Favorite Perfume/Cologne: dont like to wear cologne, with my height I only attract insects

Gold/Silver: Usually neither. If i have to it'll be silver then perpertate like its Platinum

Hometown: Chicago IL - South Side

Insomnia: Not yet

Job Title(s): Unemployed

Kids: Not yet. I gotta be deemed fuckable first.

Living Arrangements: 2 bedroom apt in a building owned by my mother.

Most Admired Trait: by others? My height. by ladies? my eyes or my dimple.

Number of Sexual Partners: 3 if you'd call them that.

Overnight Hospital Stays: 3 times as a teen

Phobia: Bees, Wasps anything with a stinger.

Quote: Nobody's a sore loser till they lose too many times - Me

Religion: Raised as a baptist, fishing for new

Siblings: 2 brothers

Time I usually wake up: Now that i'm unemplyed after 10 a.m.

Unusual Talent: for a man or my height and girth (300lbs) i'm very stealthy.

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Asparagus

Worst Habit: Procrastination is my best friend

X-Rays: Teeth far as I know

Yummy Foods I Make: Grilled Cheese, PB&J, Omletes

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

I decided to put my faves of Prince on my Music blog. I went with tracks that arent heard as much. So NO PURPLE RAIN That album went Diamond everyone knows the songs ont here. So to those "true Prince fans" Name some songs when he looked like a greasy black jesus? huh? Anyway Enjoy.

Rick Vader vs Charlie Skywalker - Straight Comedy!

Stuck on the I-80 trying to get home, on my exit i noticed a Amish family pulled over on the side looking at all the cars in awe. They were behind a old blood red van. This was my first time seeing anyone amish in real life but I wonder did technology finally get to them too that they have to use an automobile as well? I thought they were to shun anything advanced.

I just realized today marks the day I started blogging back in '01. 6 years and continuing. (pats on the back)

On a once in a week basis I talk to a brother who I don’t remember how it happens but we end up talking about how hard it is for black men to get a job in our city, Especially when it comes to white collar work. The talks always end up getting me depressed to the point I don’t feel like talking to anyone and I’m better off dead. I have to stop talking to that dude. I’m in bad shape as it is. Last week I decided to run a little experiment. I changed up my name a bit and used my fathers address to see if I would get more call backs than to use my regular name on my resume. On the real I didn’t think it would work but I started to get emails for phone interviews. I’m surprised it worked. Now im gonna rock it as long as I can till I land something but im not gonna stop there, I’m gonna put on my nerdish “talk white” voice I can to see if that’ll make a difference. Damn, can’t believe the shit worked.

Personally I felt im too broke to take somebody on and I stand by that. Don’t give me that "we can build together" BS because if it doesn’t look to you like im trying then your gonna think im not. Anyway a lot of brothers know this as well. But that aint stopping them. They get at girls regardless, yet they don’t say that they have a job. They let the females see for themselves and let them decide further down once the relationship (or relations) has become frequent. I always keep it Treal to the point if im poor than that’s how im dressing. I know by keeping it sloppy that I’m not material for nobody and right now that suits me fine. Summer should be a time to get up with someone. I'd rather get right with myself.

I know there’s a thin line to being out of line. I’ve said some things to people that were out of pocket. I realize this. If the things I’ve said have truly hurt them then I’ll gladly apologize to them in person and individually. Y’see I was raised in a way my mother never held her tongue back toward us. Instead of sitting me and my brothers down and telling us about the stuff she didn’t like us doing; she was quicker to holler out “You fucked up with your dumbass!” Now the negativity has evolved through us and now I catch myself from just spitting straight venom. Yet when I do eventually some gets out to the point some things I cannot take back. I regret 60% of it due to creating beef with people I care about and friendships I treasure. The other 40% I felt is that stuff that needed to be said and wouldn’t come out any other way but the hard ugly truth.

Living in this city I’ve come across a nice amount of personalities. What I learned from 3 people help me survive a lot in this world to help keep from getting eaten alive in the streets. 1. Call me whatever you like. I’ve heard them all. I’m numb to most it now. 2. Diss me or certain members of my family and I might agree with ya. 3. When you feel your words offend use comedy!

It just makes me wonder what is it about the mental psyche that makes an individual focus on the bad times more than the good?

It's happened. Jukin' has caught the ears of others outside of the Chi.
I thought i'd never see the day. anyway those wanna know what is jukin (a form of ghetto house) better check out the latest podcast of The Fader magazine to hear some clips thats been circulating the chi for years. the Jukin' movement: another reason the go' bout to blow!

1. scent of lotion? - Unscented
2. drink? - Iced Tea, alchoholic: Sparks
3. TV show? - Animated: Robot Chicken, Drama: Windfall, Reality: Last Comic Standing
4. movie? at the moment: Running Scared (its RAW)
5. meal? Steak & Potatoes
6. shampoo? any made for men of color
7. moisturizer? whats that?
8. color? Navy blue
9. outfit? No.
10. day of the week? Right now: Wednsday

Name your favorite...

1. Candy: Reese's
2. Cookie: Dbl Chocolate w/ white chocolate chips
3. Donut: Chocolate Glazed
4. Cold drink: Cherry Pepsi
5. Hot beverage: Apple cider

Top 5 songs or albums that describe your current state of mind:

1. Alisha - Baby Talk: Communication is the key to any type of relationship. I'm learning everyday.

2. Fingers Inc. - Mystery of Love: something im glad i experienced yet still dont understand.

3. Kenny Lattimore - Days like this: Things aint going the way I want them to, and its fustrating.

4. Maspyke - No Big Deal: So much Bullshit goes on in the world but everyone thinks for themselves to much.

5. Loose ends - Dont Be a Fool: a word im using alot when im tired to explaining myself. The inspiration when im ready to give up all hope and find the inner cause within to keep going.

69 Questions to Start the Summer

1. Are you in a relationship??
No.

2. What's your current favorite song?
People Under the Stairs - Days Like This

3. How often do you visit your MySpace profile?
A good couple of times a day.

4. What is your favorite candy bar?
Reese's

5. What are your favorite shoes?
Any I can fit I am size 15 y'know.

6. Have you ever tripped going up steps?
Can't Remember, Probably did.

7. Do you have a vacation planned for this summer yet?
Not yet.

8. Would you bungee jump?
Hellz no!

9. Do you own a Fallout Boy CD?
No. I need to check them out though.

10. Do you like amusement parks?
Not really

11. Do you ride rollercoasters?
No I dont.

12. What is your current favorite CD?
Murs & 9th Wonder - Murrays Revenge

13. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
No.

14. When was the last time you were in the ocean?
last neverary.

15. Do you like beer?
No. Need Flava!

16. Would you kiss someone of the same sex?
No. (No Homo)

17. What is the most embarrassing CD you own?
The Simpsons - The sounds of Springfield

18. Are you sarcastic?
No, i'm amusingly droll...

19. Is there anything you wait for every summer?
For the heat to be over.

20. In your opinion, what is the best summer smell?
Dont know.

21. Socks and sandals?
Socks

23. What's one thing you really hope to do this summer?
Survive through it!

24. Do you like to go Mini-Golfing?
Nah

25. Are you moving this summer?
Dont think so

26. Are you going to be starting a new job this summer?
I hope so.

27. Have you ever slapped someone?
No. well yes, when I got into a fight in the winter back during my high school days. No gloves and hands were numb so all ya could do was slap.

28. Do you get poison ivy?
There's no real forests in the Chi. so no.

29. Do you plan on going camping this summer?
No thank you.

30. What was the last restaurant you ate at?
Red Lobster

31. Favorite pizza topping?
Pepperoni

32. Pants or shorts?
Shorts

33. Do you play any sports?
No but my out of shape ass needs to.

34. Do you use Chapstick?
No I got the LL whet my lips thing going on.

35. What were the last 3 movies you watched?
Runnin Scared (raw) MI3 (iight) and The Omen (WACK!)

Today is fathers’ day and for a week I was contemplating if I should even give a wish to my father. Remembering all the times as a kid I had to keep in touch with him cuz he would'nt contact me. My moms used to tell me how I would sit in the window and wait for him till I fell asleep and he never came. Well the idolizing is over, im a grown man now. I have to acknowledge the fact he did take me in when my moms and I fell out. He supported me when I had no money coming in. He gave me the most positivity as a family member than my mother ever did. Although just like my mother he's never said that he loves me or that he's proud of me (which sometimes makes me feel like I was an accident), his demeanor shows he tries to be there for me as of late and I have to forgive plain and simple. I should be appreciative that I still have a father. Alive. I should appreciate that he is still so close to me that I can visit him. Recently he’s given me game on how to handle females and how to learn from past relationships when things go bad. One of things I wished from him as a kid is to teach me some of his navy seal training to knock a muhfugga out. I’m his only son and taking what I learned from both my parents I hope to correct those mistakes when I become one. Until then I give my pops props for a good looking out.

I recently learned about this day. I may be late but its definetly something to be happy about for my people. For those that dont know about Juneteenth, visit the site and get edumacatid!

My mindstate is on Creative Hustle right now. I'm working on a new Mixtape with alittle help from some of my peeps for everyone to check out and working on my new layout for the blog. Give me a minute...

I DONT CARE IF YOU LIKE!
A BIG acknowledgement goes to The Style Contest for the new styles avaliable for eveyone to Enjoy and Modify.

Since I’m in a creative mood I whipped up a 2 cd mixtape about breakups from songs done by men. I checked the net for inspiration and the selections I saw sucked! Originally I had 26 tracks each then I had to shorten them to fit. So of all my selections these are my favorite, the best of the best. I know some of ya'll wonder why I didnt use someones else's song (whatever) Some of ya'll won’t listen to them all, I realize this all I ask is that if you leech please comment thx as well. Get it while the getting is good, when its gone its gone!

Playlist CD1 [Hip Hop/Rap]:
1. Yak Ballz - Moving on (3:20)
2. Black Eyed Peas - Love Won't Wait (3:35)
3. Chino XL - Kreep (Video Version) (4:58)
4. Cormega - Soul Food (2:37)
5. Dj Quik ft. Suga Free - Do I Love Her? (4:09)
6. Eamon - Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back (3:45)
7. Five Deez - Decapitated Orgasms (5:17)
8. Ghostface Killah - Never Be The Same Again (feat. Carl Thomas & Raekwon) (4:30)
9. Guru & Big Shug - Something In the Past (3:20)
10. Jay-Z - Song Cry (5:04)
11. Kev Brown - Albany (3:09)
12. Little Brother - Starship (5:00)
13. MadVillain - Fancy Clown Featuring Viktor Vaughn (1:55)
14. Main Source - Looking At The Front Door (4:11)
15. Method Man - Break Ups 2 Make Ups (3:54)
16. N.E.R.D. - What Is Wrong With Me (Stay Together) (6:53)
17. Nature - She Broke My Heart (1:43)
18. Percy Miracles - Youll Never Change (4:09)
19. Asheru & Blue Black - Dear You (3:30)

Playlist CD2: [R&B]
1. 112 - Its Over Now (3:45)
2. Aaron Hall - I Miss You (6:21)
3. Anthony Hamilton - I'm A Mess (4:24)
4. Avant - Seperated (4:17)
5. Brian McKnight - One Last Cry (4:55)
6. Buckshot LeFonque - Another Day (3:35)
7. Carl Thomas - I Wish (3:42)
8. Case - Missing You (4:46)
9. Donell Jones - Where I Wanna Be (4:13)
10. Jagged Edge - Walked Outta Heaven (4:31)
11. Lenny Williams - 'Cause I Love You (7:06)
12. Luther Vandross - Since I Lost My Baby (5:23)
13. Michael Jackson - She's Out Of My Life (3:40)
14. Musiq - Mary Go Round (3:41)
15. Ne-Yo - So Sick (3:29)
16. The Tony Rich Project - Nobody Knows It But Me (5:07)
17. Usher - Burn (3:52)

ENJOY!

Busta must've been High or drunk or may be both. Flipmode eyewitness news. An idiot couple crashed their ferrari into Scott Storch's Bushes.

A kid that grew up with us has been moved to New York. His father won’t contact him and his mother basically told him the reason he’s being sent away is because she’s tired of seeing his face to remind her of him. The significance in this story is that my mother married the father of this child.

I held personal dislike toward the father and the son because I disliked the man so much and usually the apple falls far from the tree. There was no right for me to feel that way towards the son but I do and I regret it. Eventually I moved out and because my moms still liked this man despite his visible and blatant faults we fell out and didn’t directly talk to each other for a year. The less I saw them the happier I became.

A year later they divorced (which made me happy) and my brother who’s now my roommate is good friends with the son. When he would visit our apartment I disliked it at first but then I let it go. If I could forgive my mother (to an extent) realize I won’t have to see his father ever again. I let him come over and spend the weekend with us. That was the last time I ever saw him in person.

He and my brother constantly talk on the phone and are somewhat close, discussing anime and music. You’d think that once they got together they be close hanging out going where ever. That wasn’t to happen either. When ever my brother would try to call him, every other week he was being punished by his grandmother who he and his mother stayed with. He did well in school but the reasons were out of spite because of who his father was. It was like his grandmother and mom was taking out their frustrations on him because the elder wasn’t around. He would get punished for things like being on the phone for too long. He knew nobody out of the area so he couldn’t run up the bill sky high. When ever my brother would try to find out why his bitter gm would cuss him out and hang up. She was always mean & rude toward everyone who tried to talk to her. What was up her ass & snatch is beyond me.

Eventually his mother told him she’s tired of seeing his face (whoa) and sent him off to his grand father in New York. He and my bro took that as a blow. I felt sorry for him. Now I didn’t know how he acted over there but really when your father won’t even come see you and your mother rejects you because you look like your father? How will the brotha live his life? Will this influence him to go O.C. (outta control)? I don’t know. I guess all I can do is appreciate my parents right now that they didn’t reject me at all. I’d hate to think what I’d be like if I knew my parents and they didn’t want me…

Religion: this certain conversation about me comes up a lot. Through many people down the years. There’s no doubt I have to tell people over and over “I’m not what you think I am” People are so quick to judge when they see you do certain things they don’t see others around them do. When I blow them away by telling them to think outside the box they shut up quickly. I’m a firm believer in showing instead of telling people of what you are.
I made a post about this before and my views still stand today. I‘m still fishing for one. I will never claim to be anything I can’t show in any physical way.

I recieved an interview by the Board of exchange! I'm estatic about it. I hope to land this one, its exactly what I want to do career wise. I happily told my brother and he counters with "Your gonna fail the interview and i'm gonna laugh in your face! ha ha aha!" this hatefull negativity disgusted me. I didn't know if I should've stole' on him or cussed him out.

Couple of hours later he got a call from his manager saying he's fired for leaving the store too early. Now he's bitching at me like I did it. Now I see what negativity can bring in your life. He's too young to see it right now though, give him a while. He got his in the nick of time though.

My mother/landlord let me and my brother know she’s giving us an eviction notice next week. Whatever, just another reason why ya shouldn’t do business with family.

My brother is calling the district manager trying to get his menial job back. It’s time for him to learn on his own that some battles you can’t win unless you’re in a position of power to make change. My baby cousin (his manager) lied on him to save her ass. Trifling piece of negroes, huh?

The board of exchange has let me know they have to reschedule the interview. I’m worried about that.

I’ve got the audio book of natural cures, it seems interesting. I’m putting his “diet” program to the test. I’m drinking more water and so far I know it working because my knees don’t hurt when I walk up the stairs. I need to get those cleansers though.

I really want to take a trip back to Carbondale. I know the females (the ones that met me)
would love to see me again.

I finally applied for education loan refinancing. I didn’t give into those salesmen rushing me to do it now. I did it when I was good and ready before deadline.

I plan once I get benefits through a gig I last longer than 3 months are that I get my right leg checked out to see if any future complications come about. Back in 96 when I worked for UBS I was hired as a loader/unloader. The officials saw that I was slower than the others and due to the union I was with they couldn’t get rid of me easily. They tried to put me on other shifts but they couldn’t use me either when all so they put me on crusty jobs like sweeping for small sort, stacking totes and working the garbage compactor.

Anyway, on my job as a Garbage compactor monitor I got the totes ready as well for some of the loaders to take away and use. This particular day this nut comes through with an 8 car caddy having a ball. He comes in and takes the totes away. He’s successful but then in a small corridor he tries to back up and turn around after 20 minutes he does but at my expense. The last car of his caddy ricochets off a metal pillar and hits me in the shin area of my leg. I grab my leg and lower to my knees the pain was kinda heavy to stand on it. The idiot hears me and get out his caddy and approaches me. “Did I hit you dude?”
“Hell yeah you hit me!”
“heh, uhh…Sorry man!”
Then he gets back in the caddy and drives off.

Five minutes later I try to continue to work on it thinking I have a high threshold for pain; but the throbbing & slight swelling sets in and that was that. I went to my manager at the time and the first sentence that comes out his mouth is “Can you still work?” whatever. I went home and for a good 5 days the swelling lingered. I didnt file a workers injury or anything which I know was my fault. I could walk but with a limp for a good 2 weeks. I even bought a cane to help myself. I did all that but see a doctor. By now I realize it was probably broken. Because I let it heal on its own without support, I hope it doesn’t make things bad for me as I get older.